Wait for it...

Ready? Any minute now. Shush, here she comes. (Watches sleepy child wander passed computer)

"Morning Mum." 

"Morning honey."

"What ya doing?"

You know, I just never stood a chance - before I could answer, she had elbowed me in the eye, thrown her face into the computer screen, and started to go ultra-sonic. I know this to be true because, even though I was partially blind, I still managed to spot the cat propel himself out the room. Looked like I'd zapped him with a tayza gun or something too - I didn't alright (not that the cat will think that). I started to 'come round' right about the time the cat gave 'evils' from the back door.

"Oh my God! Oh my God, it's him!" 

"No kidding Sherlock? Gee, I wonder how got there?"

Thud. "Ouch!"

"Oh Mum don't you see? Don't you get it?" 

At this point I am sensing the need for a Lawyer. Maybe I should just take the 5th, only I suddenly remember we don't have the 5th in New Zealand. We hardly have a 1-2-3...

"Mum! Did you hear me?" 

"What?"

"Isn't he just, you know... beautiful?"

Her first crush. Well I must admit, it's a vast improvement on mine. Actually I take that back cause, mark my words, if Donny Osmond were to (stop laughing) were to walk right in here, right now, this very minute, I'd um, wet myself most probably. 

Bless. Sweet little Donny. The man whose poster was on my bedroom wall. The very same poster I would never get undressed in front of, you know, on the account of his religion and all and my respecting that and ...his whole family posing alongside of him was the real reason. Can't be doing with stripping in front of Donny's Dad!...burr...Dad, no! Donny...

"You've gone all dreamy. You like him too, don't you Mum?"