June 1, 2010


Imitation, someone once told me, was the best form of flattery. You buy an outfit, they buy the same outfit. You buy a certain car and they are right behind you holding up their new set of car keys...tinkle tinkle. After a while though, doesn't that sort of stuff become, I dunno...illegal or something? I mean where do you draw the line between flattery ... tip toe through the tulips music... to downright creepy stalking stuff? ...Twilight Zone music... Is there such a line or do we have to wait for 'inside head' music to tip us off?  

Of course I am using the Universal "we" here caused I'm pained to admit I got me some creepy crawly music playing on in my head at the minute or moment - depending on which part of the UK you're from, or not as the case may be. Um, where was I? Ah yes, creepy shit. 

No link, well there is one but anyhow, my old Collage music teacher, who shall remain anon but to whom I shall refer to as Mr Gordon, asked the class one morning, what would we do if we wrote one of the most famous masterpieces of all time and someone else not only nicked it but made out it was theirs? (You can see that imitation link thing now can't you?) Well this caused a major debate. Some kids said they'd head straight to the Police while others resorted to the all time favorite and highly popular option of beating the crap out of the person but here's the thing - Mr Gordon (whom I never liked) said he would do nothing (oh, and he never liked me either). 


Someone in the class yelled out "Crap!" which was okay cause it wasn't me and Mr Gordon (who wasn't too fond of girls) swayed magnificently around the classroom waiting for the debate to subside a little (not too much) before rendering his verdict.  

"That poor person who steals your creativity is but a fool," he said, stammering a little to the left and then to the right - his perplexed hand positioned on his forehead. I know he was probably trying to imitate some Shakespeare thing cause music teachers do that sort of stuff but really, he just came across as a very bad John Wayne who'd been, I dunno, shot in the leg or something. (I mentioned that he didn't like me, didn't I?) 

Well Mr Gordon's theory was to pity those who steal from you - a totally wild concept to those in the class who had previously opted for a public hanging. "Yes, you heard right. Pity!,"he continued, "Because you my lovelies (except you over there! He doesn't say this but I know he wants to!) because you can always, no matter what  happens, you can write another masterpiece whereas that buffoon (he looks right at me saying this!) he or she will never be able to steal from you again." 

I guess what Mr Gordon was really saying was no one can actually become the person you are. They might follow you around, start doing the same things you do, start getting 'all up in ya business and all' but they will only ever be a shadow of the person you are. Gee, guess that's why its called imitate huh? You know, as opposed to a bodily invasion kind of thing, in which case, that's just like so wrong. 

I started out writing this, this evening, thinking I was going to go all "ape" about imitation and how someone is so wrong to invade your sense of identity by copying everything  you do and oddly enough, I've gone changed my mind - cause I can. I've come to really realise that I can't control what other people do so sure, they can schmooze up to my friends, start a blog, dye their hair pink (mine's a wig by the way - mum's the word yeah?) and they can stalk me on Facebook and other social media sites but they cannot, will not.... Oh no, Mel Gibbons has just popped into my head. He's riding a horse, banishing a stick and wearing a tartin skirt (oh dear, not a good look).. he's ranting and raving about "Ya canna take me freedom!" Bless, don't ya love it when actors like that just take some time out of their busy little day to go popping into your head like that?

But Mel has a point and so too does Mr Gordon - people can try to imitate us, scratch at the surface of who they think we really are but at the end of the day, they'll only get crap under their fingernails. Mr Gordon would be ever so pleased with that analogy I am sure.

1 comment:

  1. Well, that Mr Gordon sounds like he will forever be a victim. We have laws in this country to protect against copyright. So, I would totally go for a public hanging. Stealing is illegal. Me thinks that's the reason he didn't like you Jax. You stand in the opposite corner from him with your activism.


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