December 1, 2010

Time to get your head out of your ass!

Here is an email from SOSA - a Charitable Trust aimed at helping "survivors of Sexual Abuse" and to which, right up until last night, I was the Media Officer.

Yes, it's been a long time coming but I have finally resigned. The last straw was their attempt to place a GAG ORDER on what I write on this here blog - of mine.....

It has been brought to my attention that you have posted a blog outlining details of a SOSA meeting in a public forum. (Um no, I mentioned an anon group and a "subject" that I thought would be interesting to discuss on my blog) 

This has caused significant distress to some members of SOSA, and is in breach of the confidentiality agreement which I believe was put in place at the start of the meeting. (A confidentiality agreement - yikes, this sounds real official - where is my copy of that by the way?)

Although you state in your post that you believe in the aims of SOSA, there are several comments made that reveal the content of the Raetihi meeting in ways that appear very critical about certain members who were present at the meeting. (Well if quacks like a duck, walks like a duck then my guess is, it's a fucking duck!)

I feel very uncomfortable about the SOSA meeting and the personal traits and responses of individual members of the group being discussed in a public forum. (It's been months since that meeting and several emails I've sent outlining my concerns have never even been responded to - until now, that is. Interesting.)

My need as SOSA president is to have a board that works well together and maintains both personal and professional boundaries, (Your fucking kidding me right? Boundaries was EXACTLY what my email was about - a counsellor bringing her clients to a meeting? What the fuck is that about? Oh that's right, we don't talk about that do we?) and treats fellow members with respect and dignity at all times.  

I hope that as a board we can collectively resolve any differences that have occurred or may occur in the future, within the confines of SOSA, rather than broadcasting our personal opinions within a public forum.  (Guess what? I heard once that men hoped they could lick their balls like dogs do but reality just doesn't work out like we wish sometimes.) 

I appreciate that you were careful to not directly name anyone present at the meeting.  However, several members have obviously been easily able to identify themselves or others who were present at the meeting.(Are these the same so-called Board Members who are also clients of the questionable counsellor who brought them along to  board meeting? And pray, do tell, which one of their "counsellor defined" voices were objecting at this point?)

While I agree that the controversy surrounding the topic you raised is worthy of clarifying, and that it would be useful to demystify this diagnosis for those who do not understand, (thank you so much for FINALLY seeing the purpose of my posting) the confidentiality of SOSA and its members needs to be maintained at all times.(You might like to tell that to the new members who have joined YOUR site, who have unknowingly put their personal details for public viewing. I did email you about this as well - nothing doing?) 

Therefore, I request on behalf of SOSA that you remove your blog post dated 25/10/10 (Fuck you!) as the content breaches the SOSA rules of confidentiality, and has created an unsafe environment (Oh fuck off!) for some of our members.

If you would like to discuss this further, I am happy to do so after the blog and related comments have been removed.

Kind regards


MY RESPONSE: thanks, I have nothing to say other than I RESIGN AS THE MEDIA OFFICER on the following basis:
  1. Your only "help" link on your website is an avenue into a Board Member's private counselling practice. 
  2. Your treasurer officer, in charge of all the donations, with no previous experience, just so happens to be a woman with a $10k cheque from a deceased victim - How fucking immoral is that!!!
  3. More than 60% Board members consist of yet another board member's patients, some of which are still very ill and vulnerable and don't need an organisation they went to FOR support ripping then off! 
  4. Survivors don't need some half-ass goodie-two-shoe outfit promising shit they can't deliver. They've had that most their lives.
  5. They're actually looking for something different and my view is, they are NOT going to get from you lot, not now.



  1. I've got to say that I'm laughing. There were absolutely no breaches of confidentiality in your post. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Of course someone who was at the meeting would recognise the situation you described. And of course plenty of us knew which organisation you were talking about because we recognised the lack of safety, the loose boundaries and the Mickey Mouse attitude you described. That does not make it a breach of confidentiality!

    SOSA has promised a lot and delivered little and, in my opinion, has done more harm than good. You can't mess with people's heads in this way, especially when you're claiming to be professional. Good on you, Jax, for using your freedom of speech to expose this and to support others who have been hurt by SOSA. (And there are others!)

  2. My Actual email response:

    Dear President of the Board (she wants to remain anon which is odd considering its on SOSA website - duh! - anyhow.....)

    Actually I have rethought the whole thing.

    Last I heard, K1W1 was MY blog. I will write what I god damn well want, thank you very much!. Not once did I mention SOSA personally and not ONCE did anyone who responded. Your paranoia becomes you.

    Are there members on SOSA that are questionable? Yes, I believe so and so do many of those who replied to my blog whom I blocked simply because I did not want them OR me to NAME the group - in the vain hope you lot would get your shit sorted by now.

    You have NO RIGHT to tell me to delete a post when, quite frankly, since all the shit went down at that hui, I have heard nothing from you lot - not bad for a so-called Media Officer of the group! You're suppose to contact me (as per the minutes many moons ago) to discuss the Wellington summit - yeah right! Yada yada!

    And what is all this talk about confidentiality agreements and the like, as if I am in breech of this bu publishing ANYTHING about DDI for goodness sake? Please forward me MY SIGNED copy of that. I would really like to see that for my own records!

    I will be writing an expose on this now cause... well, I'm pissed off actually and cause.. I CAN!

    I also willingly hand in my resignation ("Quelle surprise!" - that's French, for "What a god damn surprise - not!" ) from whatever organisation Gudrun and/or Christine is associated with AND I will continue to put survivors FIRST not PC bullshit!

  3. As I told you before, I am not engaging in online conflict resolution or mud-slinging. Just to straighten out your 'facts':
    1. There are plenty of links on the SOSA website, always have been.
    2. The treasurer is an accountant - not sure where your $10K tale comes from -
    3. none of the board members are/have been a client of mine.
    Cheers Gudrun

  4. Confidentality Agreement?!?!

    Those agreements are to protect people but if people act like bullies then do they think the 'Confidentility Agreement' can be used as their get out of jail free card? Secrets keep you sick and protect the abusers only.
    Plus all I read about SOSA from your blog had been positive. I don't remember you mentioning names of people or the group in a negative light before now in your blog.

    I thought Gudrun was President and Christine was Vice President? Why the change? Does that have something to do with them being therapists and most of the other members on the board and trust under them being from their 'client bank'? Has someone finally said WTF? A bit rude using ACC funding or therapy time to trump up members for SOSA or $10,000 donations for the 'organisation' they set up. Has someone finally pointed this out to them within SOSA or someone in their Psychotherapist Board? Having clients (past or present) or from your 'support group' holding positions of office or being responsible for a Trust while you are the President and Vice President is FUCKED UP shit!! Also did these conversations take place in therapy time on ACC's dollar? Or do these therapists have relationships with their clients outside of therapy?? Either way, seems they are the ones with bounderies issues or are ripping ACC off.

  5. Probably you dissociated and weren't there for the confidentality part anyway.... seems there was a bit of that going on there at that Hui. Why would people need to dissociate if the Hui was such a safe place anyway??!

    I can't believe they think you should remove your post??! Well, that post will get a few hits now too!

  6. What the hell?!? I never knew it was SOSA you were talking about.... shit I am a member of SOSA. They use to have your blog linked to there website too..... cos that's how I found it. I always thought it was a bit dodgy when they had two therapists as the President and Vice President, it looks though they have finally changed that now. But to think the clients of the therapist/s are holding those postions is sooo unethical and unsafe. Some nerve talking to you about 'safety' etc.

  7. Like oh my God.... I now unfollow this organisation including some twitter things I follow of certain people. What a bunch of shit heads. You are right. Their heads are up their ass... and to be honest doesn't look like anything we do is going to get their heads out of there. Only they can do that and to be honest they will only stink more once they do. This is your blog. They have no right to ask you to remove anything. You didn't name names, even of the organisation in that blog post. You signed no agreement... you are not held by a contract. They however have breached a lot of things not just by that meeting... but other things too. I think they are unprofessional and they have no idea just how damaging this crossing the line is to the clients. You always put survivors first. Always. This organisation you have resigned from does not. However they try to think they are. They never got back to you on your concerns about the shit that went down at the meeting. That alone doesn't put the survivors first. Expose them. Write it. SOSA... right now you smell of ass. Fix yourselves.

  8. new blog post up at sosa - makes you out as insane victim stuffing up their good works (ha ha!!) too many people concenred about how unsafe SOSA is and it damages the greater cause. its not just Jax and not just one meeting!! it had a real chance but now its one person's ego trip, complete with groupies! Munchausens by proxy, anyone? now there's a mental illness for you!!! Cant believe so-called caring people atacked/humiliated you in public. way to go to support and empower someone - yeh i am angry!

  9. Gudrun

    You are a two faced cow.... your post states " As I told you before, I am not engaging in online conflict resolution or mud-slinging..."

    Oh really?

    Then why post this on SOSA website sweety?

    "...It came as a surprise when the same person started making comments about events that occurred at the hui in a public forum. We held back from responding on this blog so as not fuel the fire, understanding that many (if not all) survivors, when hurting and struggling with the legacies of the abuse, direct their rage against themselves or the people who are trying to help rather than confronting the abuser. Holding back, however becomes hard when the other party lacks the courage to sort out disagreements in person and instead starts a hate campaign on a public blog.

    We have lost valuable board members in this process - it becomes an uphill battle when one of your 'own' starts lashing out, breaches confidentiality, and makes untrue statements with regard to members of SOSA. If people are to share deeply personal stuff they need to be able to trust that the agreement "what is said in this room stays in this room" will be respected. It is not OK to make poorly veiled hints that make identification of people involved possible...."

    Just goes to show - you are full of crap! Say one thing, do another!

  10. Furthermore Gudrun...

    Are you actually saying that " none of the board members are/have been a client of mine."

    You sure you haven't knocked your head recently? None are or have been your clients, not even in that DDI support group of your run our of Raewyn House in Auckland? You sure? You know I could always post the emails of those client of YOURS sent to me anon that describe in GRAPHIC detail the abuse they felt by none other than YOU - I mean, if you want I could do that. I would, of course delete their details cause, unlike you, I am very concerned about these women. The alternative would be Gudrun, you get your head out of your ass and come clean.

    PS: The $10k donation you ALSO seem to have forgotten about is on an audio taped conversation I had with you a few months ago. YET ANOTHER BULLSHIT LIE! However, I have since learned where that money originated from and that... that just makes me want to rip my undies! How disgusting of you to even consider taking a deceased victims money. And don't act like this is al news, I also have emails, dated months back, shortly after the hui, outlining my DIRECT concerns about this very UNETHICAL point and what have you done since.... NOTHING!

  11. Wow, I read the SOSA blog Gudrun just wrote. Funny how she says you breached confidentiality but no mention of her breaching it at the Hui when she outted one of her clients who was on the Trust at the time. Do you remember her telling everyone the client has DID?? We were left shocked!! Including her poor client. As far as, no one being her clients past or present.... well we all know that is crap! The Trust existed with her clients on it. One client she was getting ACC payments for while they used therapy time to talk about SOSA business. Gudrun encourages other psychotherapists to also talk about SOSA with their clients and encourage them to become members. Oh and lets not forget the people she met doing her PhD research.... those people she was researching who then have become part of SOSA as either board members and/or trust members. Those in your 'support group' too. It's clear Gudrun has NO idea of bounderies if she thinks all these people are not or have never been clients. In fact, she now refers to them on her blog as friends and acquaintances. WTF??

    An Accountant that was made Treasurer after she said she would gift her $10,000 inheritance cheque when it comes through probate sure leaves a bad taste in peoples mouths Gudrun... regardless of your actual intentions there. Even more so when they are in the support group you are running. I'm glad this is no longer happening..... if that's what you are now saying here!

  12. Hey Gudrun, until you posted a comment here and that poisonous rant over at SOSA, your reputation was intact (just). All of this noise could have been written off as a bunch of nutters attacking your good intentions, a bit of spite among already damaged and sensitive people. But it seems you weren't listening at Public Relations 101. Next time (if there is a next time), do the professional thing and stay out of it.

    As for accountants, you obviously haven't heard of former Auditor General and ACC boss Jeff Chapman, who was convicted of fraud!

  13. I was at that hui. I heard Gudrun tell everyone about someone's personal counselling problems. Everyone heard. I felt sick. People like her make me scared. She is nasty. (I am one of her past clients)

  14. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  15. Yep. Looks like a "go". Email me. TH

  16. Do you people have any idea what you're doing to the cause? A house divided cannot stand. You're merely confirming the idea that survivors are all insane liars. And I can't believe that a therapist has joined in! Aren't you supposed to make discretion and confidentiality a top priority? Shouldn't you of all people be aware of other people's need for emotional safety, even from behind the safety of your keyboard? I no longer trust you or anything you are involved with. I am so disappointed that it has descended to this.

  17. Kaboom..................this SOSA group will self destruct in 30 seconds. Glad I am not a member, who needs people like them offering me help. Sheesh!

  18. Well this is all not too suprising really. I just tried to post a comment on SOSA blog in reply to Gudruns latest blog that you mention above but she deleted it quite quickly. This is what I wrote:

    "Interesting comments from you here Gudrun. Especially when referring to breaching confidentiality then you copy and paste part of an email on here. I was also at the Hui and as a health professional have never heard someone breach confidentiality in such a forum by announcing someone's diagnosis to a group. Personally, I was gobsmacked when you did that and even more so when I later found out she was your client."

  19. Gudrun is right there have been plenty of links but the support offered (which is what I think Jax is referring to) is about your groups Gudrun and the Presidents only. Lots more support groups in Auckland not to mention the rest of the country than just yours.

  20. Dear Anon

    One of the many above who wrote...

    "Do you people have any idea what you're doing to the cause? A house divided cannot stand. You're merely confirming the idea that survivors are all insane liars. And I can't believe that a therapist has joined in! Aren't you supposed to make discretion and confidentiality a top priority? Shouldn't you of all people be aware of other people's need for emotional safety, even from behind the safety of your keyboard? I no longer trust you or anything you are involved with. I am so disappointed that it has descended to this."

    First of all I don't think telling the truth means I am "confirming the idea that all survivors are insane liars." What I detest above most things, are organisations claiming to help survivors when, in reality, they aren't. I plop ACC into that category irrevocably.

    Secondly, I have not sat "behind my keyboard" breeching confidentiality. I have been in this group and amongst those that think the behaviour of certain board members is questionable. I have spent the past few months trying desperately to have those questions and concerns answered and in a strict confidence with Board members - to no avail.

    In addition, when those Board members decided that my concerns about client confidentiality and their own level of professionalism were ignored long enough, their ONLY response to date was a DEMAND to delete a post from my personal blog - now, THAT says something!

    Toe the line, stop complaining about client welfare, shut up OR you're out - I left before I was pushed.

    Now THAT does NOT make me a victim.

    Why is it that you and even Gudrun in her previous post on the SOSA website always insist that I "act" like sexual abuse survivor?

    I can, last I checked, actually react like a NORMAL human being - someone just pissed off at being jacked around by people claiming to be one thing and doing quite the opposite.

    There is more to me than JUST a survivor. In other words, my past does not define me nor my "present" actions. I sincerely wish, one day, you too will realise that - it's a wonderful feeling.

    Hope that clears that up.

  21. boomkabroomskabooshkaDecember 3, 2010 at 12:53 AM

    in one comment above....Anonymous said...

    Kaboom..................this SOSA group will self destruct in 30 seconds. Glad I am not a member, who needs people like them offering me help. Sheesh!

    This is one of the best comments in here. Kaboom!!!

    This has really opened my eyes. This SOSA person has made a real muddle of things. I don't think you can publicly regain your professional reputation after such a massive mistake. A mistake most likely encased in karmic consequence. Gudren... such a shame that you have crossed the line. Other people in your profession have agreed you have stepped over that boundary. It's so sad to see this has happened.
    This blog is magnificent, and it belongs to the person who wrote it. Therefore her own writing is hers alone to decide where or where not to put it.
    It makes me choke on my heart. It does. What a sad situation.

  22. Jax, sweetie, when I was talking about someone commenting from the safety of their keyboard, I was talking about Gudrun. She claims to be both a survivor and a therapist and yet she is damaging the cause so much with her unprofessional and divisive behaviour. She is coming across as nothing but a snake doctor - and we all know how squeaky-clean sexual abuse therapists have to be to avoid accusations of rorting the ACC system, making up repressed memories, encouraging false accusations, etc, etc. Please understand that I was talking about her in my comment, NOT you! I don't trust HER.

  23. Well then, I shall lay down my AK47 and read the responses properly then.. lol...

    (damn heavy thing)

    You're right. Not once, despite the invites did Gudrun take me or other members' conserns probably. I think someone, somewhere up a way, mentioned "ego" and a kind of groupie following? I am worried this is all SOSA has become and it pisses me off, for me, for survivors alike... we expect to be diddled by ACC but women? That's a low blow!!!


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