A Letter to the world

Michael. (Team Manager, ACC SCU - Sensitive Claims Unit)

Guess, it's true what they say...tomorrow never comes. 

Oh well, I mean it's ONLY SEVEN  odd months since my claim was submitted - and fancy Nick Smith saying "Claims take 20 days on average." Do you guys actually keep that one up to date on reality? Forget it, he probably wouldn't listen anyhow. 

NOTE: I will be forwarding all our correspondence (over the seven - eight months) to the Head of Complaints and a National newspaper as it seems I have exhausted the services of the "team" you "manage" Michael. 

But back to this Insensitive Claims Unit:

I am not stupid or dumb. Dr Peter Jansen who implemented these "INHUMANE" changes is hoping if he makes things too damn hard we'll either go away or kill ourselves like two people I know already while others remain on suicide watch with Danielle Martin!

The SCU is a disgrace - it's a Clinical Pathway to Government Assisted Suicide! 

I am still here for that its worth! 

I know you are not qualified to make a decision about the medical treatment I require - no more than Kate who kind of disappeared on my Case as well. Which leaves the VERY SMALL handful of people who are if you can catch them in between their own private practice work and Jansen's no help - he's too busy fighting off the media and those bloody annoying reporters that just want to know what the hell he was thinking implementing a system NO ONE wanted - Gee, least of the the Royal NZ College of GPs but then what choice did they have when Jansen writes a letter of support on their behalf and sits back pruning his bloody feathers on the College Board!

The likes of Jansen and Morris won't fall on their sword when other clients kill themselves through sheer desperation or that god forbid, NZ walkes up and refuses to pay levies to an organisation that continues to TORTURE their clients.

I don't know what is worse Michael - the flashback of child abuse or the reminder that every day in every way I am smaller and smaller and smaller in the eyes of any organisation PAID to help me. I do NOT MATTER. I am INVISIBLE!. I am NOTHING!

THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME EVERY DAY OF WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE A VICTIM! 

What was the point of Jansen spending all that money to implement Guidelines when it's pretty bloody obvious they don't matter and that no one that I know of, or have had the misfortune of dealing with, follows what IS written in any event?

What is the point of even doing counselling through ACC if it means I will HAVE TO do this ALL OVER AGAIN after an initial "few" sessions and will need to see ANOTHER assessor and revisit the trauma over and over again - just to QUALIFY for continuation of support?

Did you know Michael, that after my first assessment in order to get a DSM-IV diagnosis that I sat in a curb outside the counselling office, opposite Parliament funnily enough, for three hours, bawling my eyes out and unable to even remember where the HELL I lived? That's what it's like when you FORCE someone to TELL GRAPHIC details of their rape. I needed counselling to get over the frigging assessment! 

And yet... here we are, three months later. 

What's the point of writing to even the Minister of ACC when he's too busy hiding behind a letter of support from the one and only external organisation that supposedly supports these moves - RNZCGP? What's the point of watching him skirt around the questions raised by Annette King in the House and arguing over semantics when you know he's just going to fog off your concerns to Patsy Wong? What is the point of writing to him when he merely says put your questions to his SECRETIVE Review panel, of which no one know anything about?  

What was the point of sending me to a complete stranger to rehash the GRAPHIC details of my sexual abuse just so, THREE months down the bloody track, I can't even get a courtesy call or email from the people who - what? - are merely sitting there perusing those details like a pack of animals? Where's my COPY of that so called DSM-IV report? How is it that someone I don't even know can write about what's going on for me, what's best for me, and NOT BOTHER to even TELL ME?

What is the point of having me call your office on a weekly basis asking for updates only to be told yeah, we got someone for your to see. You don't know her but here's her name. We aren't going to tell you WHERE she is or HOW to contact her or WHAT she is seeing you for cause as far as YOUR concerned, YOUR job is done. 

I do all those things in the VAIN hope that someone, ANYONE, wakes up to what's actually happening to the people YOU are all SUPPOSE to be concerned about. Walk in my shoes and then have that complacent mindset Mr Watson!

By all means, send this to whoever you want. I no longer care about my rights to privacy. I have felt so VIOLATED and EXPOSED by the SCU so much over the passed year that I've fallen back on my old childhood survival skills of disassociation. Look that one up in your manual. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mother, Writer, Child Sex Abuse Survivor, Brave enough to take Offender to Court, Asking for counselling to assist in that procedure, Advocate for Children's Rights, (my Rights) and above all, A New Zealand Citizen and Voter. - Gee, you'd think one of those "labels" would have been worth something. Oh yeah, I apparently have a "mental injury" as well but it's top secret and not even I know what it is!