May 5, 2010

New Facebook Page FOR SURVIVORS

Orkut Scraps - Butterflies

Name & Shame - A Survivor's Choice
A Name and Shame website for survivors of child abuse has started up on Facebook. It's for those survivors who, for one reason or another, have been unwillingly silenced.

The NZ Name Suppression Laws dictate to incest survivors (a vague term) that under no circumstances are you to TELL YOUR LIFE STORY! That is a gagging order imposed on those who should have the same rights as anyone else in this world - the rights to tell their own life story.

Government should not have the right to decide, nor the lawyers, not even other family members, other victims or even the ones that "got away."

Sex offenders who are related to the "victim" AUTOMATICALLY get name suppression - apparently it's to protect the victim's identity. So what happens then if the victim says her OWN name and says her abuser was her father - hasn't named him personally but has she  outed him anyhow and broken the Law - WHO REALLY IS PROTECTED BY THIS?

In the meantime, offenders bypass the National Sex Offender's Database with a cordial smile from the judge. They can even go on to remarry, re-offend, and if they're clever enough to adopt the kids (Quick smart) they can then reapply for name suppression... and so on and so forth!

(Administrators of the Group must approve requests for new members to join. Anyone can see the group description, but only members can see the Wall, discussion board and photos.) On the second anniversary of this site, we go PUBLIC - Loud and Proud - let the butterfly spread its wings and fly! You always have the option of leaving the group if wish.

Please note this is a group for those who WANT their story told, who want to STOP the offender hiding under the pretense it protects her/his identity. This is NOT a group for outing others or for those who wish to remain anonymous. We will do all we can to support those who face legal ramifications for "telling their story" but we will not be held responsible for the publication of an individuals story - that remains the judgement of the person who posts. 

Be Loud. Be Proud. But Be Safe.


  1. Wow, a good idea! But won't people be prosecuted for releasing names of suppressed abusers etc?? But I'm sure the benifets to people will outweigh the risks. Though, I guess people could also publish lies to hurt others and if a Court has found them 'Not Guilty' do we have the right to name them?? Just thinking of a patient of mine who was on trial and commented suicide because of the lies told about him and what he endured. Plus another patient (with a head injury) who got jailed for statutory rape of a 12 years old girl that he met in a NIGHT CLUB and who he took home to meet his mother before offering her a bed for the night. She woke and had breakfast with the family and then went home and he was arrested later that day. A bloody nice guy, his only crime a head injury and being stupid (believing her lies). Anyway, I know sexual abuse victims need a voice just don't know I agree with this method.

  2. Let's assume someone did breech the name suppression order, the offender would have to prove it and the person who "leaked" their own story would be innocent until proven guilty. It would mean the offender would have to come out of hiding which defeats his own purpose. I defy any Judge to tell me, for example, that talking about my childhood is illegal. It would be a benchmark decision but an international outcry nevertheless and something I am quite prepared for.

    For those not found guilty - lack of evidence being the main "excuse" well, does the victim still own the rights to her/his own story - surely she/he does.

    I don't know about the broader issues this could possibly raise. I read your post and thought, you made good and valid points. If only there was some way we could validate a person's story. I guess we are going to have to be real vigilant. If members are as genuine and truthful as I am, there won't be a problem - how does one monitor that?

    Perhaps it could be seen as a platform for those wishing to express their rights to name and shame their abusers - once convicted.

    I don't profess to know all the answers but I do know there a lot of people wanting the same "Freedom of Speech" as automatically awarded to others.

  3. Yes, I agree. If people are only telling THEIR OWN stories it shouldn't be an issue. But we must remember while freedom of speech is a basic human right so also is the right to a fair trial, the right to be innocent until proven guilty, the right to privacy and the right to a defence. But again if people stick to only telling their own stories rather than naming all the sex offenders or child abusers (I'm sure we all know heaps) then it shouldn't be an issue. Plus honestly, judging people is NOT really what we should be about because we are all guilty to a degree of some abuse and/or neglect (I say as someone who clipped their son round the ear for back chatting me the other day). It's a slippery slide... cos we all fall short at times. Anyway, I'm sure you will be onto it with monitoring people who want to trash talk verses telling their own stories.

  4. All good points. However, the Facebook page is a closed forum. Current members are discussing their experience, how it's affecting their lives in the present moment. At some future date, I imagine there to be a few members who would probably like to lobby the Government for changes to the law - mainly allowing the decision for name suppression to be their choice.

    I don't envisage the group to turn into a database of suspected child offenders. That's something the Government and perhaps the Sensible Sentencing Trust might like to hash out.

    I'm also wanting to ensure members that there is NO JUDGEMENT in that group as well so if they vent and let off some steam and it's not what one would consider "PC" - too bad. They can't "do that" anywhere else, which is half the problem for survivors (finding out their silenced on other forums for, maybe, legal reasons or the fact that they are too angry etc.) What is said in the group, stays with the group.

    On a more positive note, I have a woman will post positive counselling tips. She's gone off the ACC register because she considers their methods potentially dangerous. I like her values (she could be racking in the dosh of she just towed the line)...anyway, I will keep you all posted.


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